Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

2011 is officially over. Thank goodness. It was not the greatest year. Probably one of the worst actually. The one person that I never wanted to lose as a friend, I lost. I fucked up bad this year. Learned a lot of lesson's but I also lost my trust to someone that I would do almost anything for, the one that I love. I thought I'd be able to get over him. But it's becoming clear that I won't. When you truly love someone, you never stop loving them. I still think about him everyday, I replay where I went wrong, just everything. I really don't understand why I care so much. He hated always blew me off, treated me like I was nothing..He knew he had me wrapped around his finger. He would try to make me jealous and piss me off. He would push my buttons for fun, and I just acted like I didn't care. He knew he was hurting me. I tried for years to be the perfect girl. Nothing was ever good enough for him. He made me cry so many times. I couldn't figure out why he didn't like me back. I was trying to be so perfect, my self-esteem went way down, I was always self-conscious. The weird thing is that he would notice little things about me that I didn't think that he paid attention to. When I was losing weight, he'd notice and get all mad at me. Very rarely would he compliment me. I remember one time, it was the first day of sophomore year and after school, I ran next door and said hey to everyone(in my ugly ass uniform) and then left. Shawn texted me and he said that the uniform didn't look that bad. Him and I use to be somewhat close. I miss it. We use to text all the time, he used to be all protective..okay. I am done talking about that stupid idiot. DONE. let's get on with what's happened this week;
Friday- We went up to Harbor Springs. Which was good. Stayed the night.
Saturday- Left Papa and Grammy's, WEnt to Grandma Nancy. I wanted to steal that white kitty. I want a fat cat. Went home. Got all ready. WEnt to Cadillac & hung out with Ben and Chelsea. Stayed the night.
Today- It's a new year!! woop woop. 2011 was a painful, sad, dramatic, crazy year for a lot of people. Learned a lot. Too many losses:-/
I hope that 2012 is completely opposite than 2011.
If everything goes to hell, I'm going back to my good ol' pal, Mary Jane. hehe.
I've missed her!! muhahahah.
Okay. that's all.
xoxo.
<3<3<3 GOODBYE 2011, HELLO 2012