Once you have been hurt, you're so scared to get attached again, you have a fear that every person is going to break your heart.

Haven't written in here for awhile.. I have an awful memory.Let's see if I can remember the days..
Thursday; Just a normal school day I think. Got ready for ACT and all that..I'm not looking forward to that. ugh. eff that. I'm pretty sure that I went over to Logan's.. mhmm. damn, my memory sucks.
Friday; No school. I don't think that I did anything..slept? Zachary and Patrick called me..I miss himmm. :-/ whatever. life goes on. While I was on the phone with them, My power went out!! it was like 11:30. So scary..considering I don't like being in the dark alone. I used my netbook as a light. Huge storm.
Saturday; I woke up..The power was still out..I wasn't cold though. Looked outside...It was awful. We had to shovel. The snow was so heavy that we couldn't plow it. It was hard..My phone died a couple of times..No water, No heat..it sucked. Our road was terrible. Boring day..The power came back on after like 13 hours.
Sunday(Yesterday); Hung out with thee boyfriend<3 I love him. Went shopping. woop woop. He bought me new yoga pants!! yaya. I met his..uncle? mhm. it was a good day/night. Monday(Today); A lot of people didn't have school. It was a lonely day for me..sigh. the usual. Did laundry, cleaned..Patrick and Zachary called on blocked.. talked to Patrick again..Chris called me..and then other Khrys called me..At least some people love me and miss me....Owens called and asked why I wasn't at school today..hahahaa. only 8 people showed up. And then they left. Dumb school. I'm thinking positive so I don't go all depressed. ha. no joke.
well, thee fam is home.
xoxo.

I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me

Oh joy.
Tuesday; School was kind fine. Wasn't too bad. Sarah and I get called "Hickbilly's" ?? Because we listen to country. oh well. I woke up late again so I didn't have time to do anything.Took a shower and left. Logan picked me up from school<3 He fed me some delicious foooodd. Some chicken stuff. I had a wonderful time with him, like usual. I really don't know what I'd do without him. sigh. Wednesday(Today); Snow Day. No one loves me so I didn't do anything today..Slept.woo hoo. I was pretty lonesome today, still am. There is something good in everyday, the good in today's day was ordering new glasses. see? I'm trying to think positive so I don't go all depressed. yay. other then that, I've been looking for places to volunteer at. It makes me smile when I help people. Maybe a nursing home, or something like that. I'll do some research. Today is a Leap Day.
that's all
xxx

I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ...Well. Break is over unfortunately. All and all, it was an alright break. It had its ups and downs. I miss Katie. She was the bestest best friend ever. :-[
Friday; I got to dad's..Fell asleep. Woke up at some time and then they were getting ready to go out with Martha and Ray. So I babysat. Friday sucked. Pretty bad. Probably the worst day of break. I got into a fight with Logan. I got sick..Pretty terrible but at least it's over now. Life goes on. I've been trying to keep my jealousy and all that stuff down. && my temper. Ha.
Saturday; I got picked up around 10. I don't really recall Saturday. Oh, I sat at home boredaf. I really have no one to talk to. I'm starting to realize that. I don't have anyone to vent to. No one wants to listen to my bull-ishhh. hmph. Guess I"ll just keep it all to myself. Cuz' that's a healthy thing to do. ha. I'm down to 92 pounds. woop woop. Still not happy with it..I still look 98. wtf. okay. done talking, on to Sunday.
Sunday; Hm. Logan picked me up. We went to his housie. Met like 7 trillion people. It was pretty nerve racking for me. I don't fit in at all. Ugh. I just don't know. I had a great time though. I've made this boy my everything, Hope I won't have to regret it. I love his mommy. ^_^ she's just a darlin'!!! Logan came over for a lil' bit..until like 9 err something like that. PArents really like him, which is a great thing.
Monday(Today); Back to school. It wasn't as bad as I expected. I think that I have diabetes though. No joke. Like, a couple times a month, I'll wake up in the morning and the tips of some of my fingers will be numb. So I did my research, & I think that I do. Gots to go to the doc. EW. I woke up late today. I didn't even stay up until 11!! I woke up at like 7:45. Sarah was being sassy. Whatever. I need to start bring advil to school. Cramps were badAF today. That school is so damn cold. The bathroom is pink now. I love pink, don't get me wrong, but it is an ugly ass pink. Some 7th grader is at the school all week..his name is Alec. He's tall. Children are so tall these days. and he's good at math? weird. Sarah and I are voting for Willie Nelson..okay. that's all I have to say. I have a headache.
byee.
ohh,
p.s.
Pretty Little Heart is the best song ever. <3 <3 <3
I need to get it as a ringtone.

"It's the fear in my eyes that keeps me walking forward"

Ohhh dear. Life is amazing. I have never ever been this happy.
hmm...I am getting over my fears.
slowly, but I am.
Monday; Well since I didn't finish Monday, Logan came over. & then he convinced me to go with him to pick up Derek at Kingsley. So I met him, and then we ended up going to his house..So I also met his mommmyy. I was wearing yoga pants and a tank top. No make up. I looked like ajfhiahf. She's sweet. We went to Menards, Taco Bell, and then back to his house. Got home, Sarah came over!! yay. I missed her.
Tuesday; Sarah was over all day..She left later in the afternoon. WE watched movies all day. After she left, I got a little pretty, and Logan came and picked me up. We went to his housieee. I'm getting used to everything slowly. It was a really good night. I love him. He came over for a bit. Well he didnt leave for awhile. I got in a little trouble. It's all good now.
Wednesday; it was a lazy day. I slept on and off all day. My sleep schedule is all effed up. I didn't see Logan. :-[
Thursday(Today); I didn't get much sleep last night. So I woke up at like 7:30 and started getting ready. Left with my grandma a little after 9. Picked up Logan's grandma. Met her. I think that she likes me!! I got dropped off at Dad's. Hung out with Chelsea. WEnt to Olive Garden. yummmm. Best.Chicken.Cesear. Salads. Ever. went to target.Art Van.ha.Logan picked me up from dad's at like 3 something. Spent a couple hours with him<3 he is the best. & I'm marrying him. no joke. Home now. Bored AF.
oooo i got his class ring<3 hehe. he gave it to me..<3 damn. he drives me crazyyy.
well nothing else.
xxoo

Te amé desde el primer momento en que te vi.

Friday didn't go as planned...Sarah didn't come over.
Saturday; Raven came over.Zac came over. Diego had a band concert at Central Grade School. That place freaks me out. Uhhh, Logan came over^_^ hehe. Ohh how I adore him.
Sunday; During the day, it sucked. Everyone went swimming. Logan and I hung out. I had a good timeeee. I always do when I'm with him though. Sarah was supposed to come over at 8, I tried to call, no answer. So I just stayed with Logan. mmmmmm...ohhhh my grandma and his grandma are like besties...weird. What a small world. The night made up ferr the suckish day.
Today(Monday); TCAPS has school. So it's just my grandma and I home. I didn't get much sleep last night and I have a headache. Hm..oh well. I'm trying to get Sarah to come over here later but she's probably busy with Freckles. Whatever.
welppp, that's about it.
xoxo.

"I'll Turn Your Crank"

Ohhh heyy there. I Have no idea anymore. Ha, nothing feels real anymore..I'm too happy. It's quite odd..I'm not really used to it.hehe.
OKay, let's see..
Thursday(Yesterday); it was a rather eventful day. People irritate me. But I stayed calm. I've been so mean lately. Ha. Oops. Rutledge's kid(Alec), was being all weird..He offered me a ride home and then asked me to go to a movie..umm...HELL NO. And then he calls me "Dirty Birdie" now..He took my phone and read texts that weren't even sexual. Pshh. Loser. Whatever. But, I got to see Logan. Went to Petsmart. woop woop. ;-p ha. He's great. I love him.
Today; It's Friday. Thank goodness. Kind of. Uhh, so I'm pretty sure people having being trying to press my buttons...So. I got to school and Sarah and I went to the bowling tournament to Lucky Jacks to take pictures for yearbook..right. We were only supposed to be gone for an hour. It ended up being over 2 hours. But before we left, Stivani was like "hey. you better be in my class.I'm serious." and then he gave us a mini lecture about how we didn't tell any of our teachers that we were leaving..HE KNEW THAT WE WERE!!!! HE LET US GO TALK TO BRONZE STATUE. ughh whatever. Now he is treating me like garbage. What the hell ever, he needs to get over himself. Just like Corey and Patrick. Ohhh Patrick. Screw You. wow. Sarah is supposed to be coming over tonight. Ohh, one more thing. Owens took me outta class today, and started lecturing me, about being in an abusive relationship with a guy and all of this...WTF.
that's all.
possibly a lonely night?
probably.
Sarah is with Freckles..and she hasn't texted me back. hm.
you can't really rely on anyone or anything in this world.
ta ta ferr now.
xoxo

Life.Is.Peachy.

Ohhh Dear. It has been awhile since I have been on here. I've been pretty darn busy.
Well.
Wednesday I made a fancy cake!! hehe yaya.
Last Thursday was pretty goood. Stayed after school for game night..After that, Went to a hotel for Michael's birthday. It twas Sarah,Michael,Julian,Tony, and Me. And Later that night, Tim, and Dylan showed up. Haha. It was pretty good. Sarah Spent the night.
Friday Eeyore(Sarah) and I woke up at like 7 so we could go back to thee hotel. I left early...Tony was being a jerk. Whatever.
Saturday..I babysat Chase. woop woop. Played with the kinect cuz I'm a cool cat like that..
Sunday..Sucked. I got picked up early..like 5:30am? Something like that because I was feeling nauseous and just terrible. I didnt get any sleep. My back was in pain too which wasnt great.
Monday..Didnt go to school. I felt a little better though. I cleaned for 4 hours. haha. It was entertaining.
Tuesday(Yesterday)...Valentines Day...hehe. ohhh it was a great day. well not until after school. Logan picked me up!! I'm getting over my fears. <3 I love him so much. He met the family.. they all like him. yay!!! ^.^ I had an amazing time with him. Wednesday(Today)...oh it was a boring day...ha. Logan came over..I was so happy to see him. <3 <3 <3 <3 only bad part about the day was Patrick..ugh. I really messed up that friendship. But as long as he's happy now. I'm happy. <3 kk. off to bed. xoxo

Mr.Sprinkles Likes Chocolate Covered Ecstasy.

Ohhh it has been a long week. Not necessarily a bad long week..it's had its ups and downs. more ups then anything. I've lost weight! yay.
Tuesday; Back to schoool. I don't really recall it. Musta been pretty damn boring. oh, wait, I remember. I got kicked outta class. For my attitude. Apparently I've been a bitch lately. There was a meeting at the school..Wooo. Sarah, Michael, and I partied like rockstars. haha. One word: Driving. I'm a pro. Michael is crazy. I find it funny that Sarah trusted her 13 year old boyfriend with driving but not her 16 year old best friend. hehe.
Wednesday; Took some test. For the army I guess. Did you know, that if you have been hospitalized for depression, that you can't join the army or anything like that!? hm. OH well. So tested for 3 and a half hours. Talked with Dustin and Tim while testing. ha.
Thursday; pshh, um. nothing interesting. Talked to Julian all open lab. and Jono. Jono told me that I was one of the sweetest people that he has ever met. awe. Smith let us plug my phone into her speakers and we turned up the bass. hell to the friggin' yaaa. ;-] I'm so glad Tony and I are friends again.
Friday; Sarah and Julian werent at school. Sarah got the stomach flu!! D-: It was Brooke's birthday. I think she's 16 now.. So I hung out with the normal "crew".. Alex,Alyssa, Michael, Tony..It was a pretty fun filled day.
Saturday; Long day. WEnt to Elk Rapids for Sophie's birthday. She's 4. Awee. So many children though. gr. There was a scare at the beginning of the party.. Ian like passed out and stopped breathing.. they took him to the hospital. I think he's okay now. We were there 4-9 and then left. Michael celebrated his birthday by inviting people to the movies. Chronicle. It was depressing. Too much death. :-/ Of course the black guy died first. All who went.. Me, Sarah, Julian, Michael, Johnny Boy, Dylan, Tony, Nd Deonte showed up..It was interesting. Ha. Deonte is growing out his fro again. He had a pick in it. awee. hah.
Today(Sunday); it is Michael's birthday! he's officially 14. woop woop. Super Bowl Sunday.. not much went on. Went to a "Super Bowl Party". I ate the best pineapple. Found Tubby a girlfriend. They are going to create lives together. I used to not like Madonna, but the half time show was pretty good. Nicki Minaj, LMFAO, Cee Lo Green, M.I.A, and I think that's it? I liked it..
that's all. I'm going to bed.
school. ugh.
one more thing:
LOGAN IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE;-]
hehe
I Love You<3

Ohhhh dear. **sigh**
Friday: Umm..I got a massage...Babysitting at Turtle Creek...That's about it.
Saturday: We were supposed to go to Harbor Springs, but there was a change of plans. So I slept. Went through old pictures. We have so many pictures. It's crazy.
Sunday: Cleaned.That's about it. The weekend kind of sucked. Talked to my son Zachary on the phone. He gave me a lecture. ha. whatever. summer needs to come quicker.
Monday(today): I wasn't feeling the greatest..So i stayed home. Woop woop.
that is all.
Pretty Little Liars is starting in a few. gtg.
xoxo.

Monday: there was a random snowdayy.Dummies. I gave Tubby a bath. took forever to get him into the tub. He's adorable though.
Tuesday: Back to school. New schedule is bulll-ishh. pisses me off. I'm thinking about transferring to Save next year. Owens is starting to piss me off. Always getting into errryones business. STFU.
Wednesday: I had a shadow..it was awkward for reasons..it was my first time meeting her. And then Sarah also had a shadow, Alexys. I liked her a lot. I got bitched at today. Teri. over some stupid stick. Chris pissed me off, If I wouldn't have had a shadow, I would've punched him in the face. I kept my temper down though. There's this new guy, his name is Julian..He's nice. He's my friend Christian's brother.Ha.
So. I'm in love. IN LOVE. I don't love him, I am IN LOVE with him..Big difference. It kind of scares me...I've only been in love once. With Shawn. && I will never get over him. EVER. It sucks. Ive learned to live with it and act like I don't care though..
next subject..
Today(Thursday): Sarah isn't here..I am seriously starting to hate this schedule. Study skills is stupid AF. I'm finding out who my true friends are. Patrick and I are done for good. Our "friendship" was fucked up and it couldn't be fixed. Him and I were too much alike. It sucks. He has someone better than me. As long as he's happy. He loved me. He was right about a lot of things but I denied it. I knew he was right. I feel awful now that I look back, but I can't take it back and it's too late to fix things. I did love Patrick, but I wasn't in love with him. We would always fight. Our friendship started going downhill when he transferred. I mean I'm not blaming him at all, I would get jealous and he would get jealous and it'd just cause problems. okay,, that's all I have to say..

Ohhh I've been so busy. School,random stuff, and more random stuff!!! kayyy, let's see...
Thursday; school was a blast. it was freezing out though!! i went "snow-skating" with Tony,Michael, & Alex though. haha. I did it down a hill without falling!! Michael fell like a zillion times. I fell while running down the hill. I made a mini snowman and it's house is in Ms.Smith's freezer. tehe. Messed around on Gifyo with Alex, Sarah, Michael, & Chris.
Friday; since everyone failed the math test, he gave us another one and no one still knew how to do it. I love Romeo and Juliet!! ooo, pipes were frozen for like half the day which sucked nastyyy dick. I drank a huge cup of coffee..we couldnt even drink out of the drinking fountain. um..on the way home from school, Shawn was stopped on the side of the road freezing and my mom was like "do you want to turn around?" and I was debating..cause you know, it's still kind of weird and awkward seeing him..hard for me. I almost cried. Because I felt bad. So we turned around and Greg was there. He ran out of gas but he was okay. I wouldve felt guilty if we wouldnt have turned around. umm..what else happend.. PAtrick sent me some texts..haha. not good ones either. I'm done with him. He chose. I vented to Matt for like 3 hours...felt way better after. Some people came over. I think we found Tubby a girlyyyfrann;-] she's a full yellow lab. her name is Indie. I am going to bring them together to make....PUPPIES!! woop woop.
Saturday; Raven's birthday party. Swimming. Diego won me a green teddy bear. :-] what a sweet little broohaaa. Talked to Khrys. Had a pretty good time.
Today; I haven't been feeling too hot.. but that's okay. Homework and VD pretty much sums up today..
that's all angel faces.
xoxo

Well. Let's see;
Yesterday.. Just a normal School day. No drama. It was boring. I talked to Logan<3 hehe. All in all, it was a good day.
Except Patrick and I are fighting.  He can go knock up that chick. Whatever. Screw him. Oh and I have to be escorted to the BR because I won't snitch. Wtf ever. 
Today..I was late for school. Didn't get much sleep. Art history was quick, Chris and I were looking at baby stuff. Lol. No idea why. Someone had a freak out...and was like flippin out. It was crazeeee. I like Romeo and Juliet. Ali brought a shadow today, his name is Dylan. He's really cool. He's 18, from elk rapids.  
Sarah left early today. 
Patrick and I are still fighting. Stressing me out.
Other then that, nada. 
Xoxox
Ooo check this out!!!:
Www.gifyo.com/lil-lex808

It is so much fun!! That's what I was doing today with Ali and them. ^,* 

Www.gifyo.com/ohdarlingalisha/817528

Hehe 

This long weekend has gone by quick. It was good for the most part, except for some stupid drama(Patrick). I'm seriously done with him. He made his choice. Sure,he choose some bitch over me. I should've kicked her ass when I had the chance. If I ever see that hoe again, she will have a whole new face after I'm done with her. :-]
Well, Saturday I went shopping with Sarah The Great. VS had a fantastic sale. Got a new bag!! New underwear. Cute boots. A calender. It was great. 5 hours. Haha. I got checked out by sooo many people. Sarah was just laughing. Like this mexican, was like following me. I felt so violated. and then the phone case dude was hitting on me.. he was like "have you been here all day? ive seen you a lot" lol. wtf. He was nice though. I was going to try and get a discount..ha. "Like My Dog" was stuck in my head so I was just singing it the entire time..People are way too serious.
Sunday; WEnt to hang out with Brooke for a bit. Saw Shawn and Greg. Trinity was working. Brenda was in a sassy mood. Brooke spent the night. Zac spent the night. Got my ass kicked by Diego and Zac. I'm bruised. My ass, My arms, My legs. my neck is sore. ha. Went outside last night.. brr. My booty got numb. Watched Insidious.
Today; No school. MLK Day. woop woop. all I did was clean..Fun fun. and Homework. Pretty Little Liars is on tonight. Ezra and Aria need to get back together. Fuck Aria's parents. Pshh. ooooo I love this songggg. Better Than I Used To Be. <3<3 amazing song.
I'm truly finding out who my true friends are.. I need new friends. I miss Katie. her and i were the best of friends. we were like inseperable and i could talk to her about anything..we had so many goood times. we only got into 2 fights and it was over guys. i miss her. but im pretty sure she hates me. and i know megan hates me..i have no idea why. Her parents probably hate me(for a good reason). hahah.
i might write her a letter. i dont want to text her. or call.
it's just so hard for me to trust people anymore.
okay. im done.
ttyl.

Life. oh jeez.
Wednesday; Diego got his hair cut. woop woop. it looks good. wayy shorter. talked to Khrys. kind of. we were there for awhile.
Thursday; I really dont remember. it must of been boring.
Friday; snow dayy. thank goodness. i didnt do my homework. Sarah came over for the first time in forever. went outside and just chilled. laughed a lot. Patrick is pissing me off. like if i randomly saw him, id punch him and then cry. I cant stand him.
Today; Papa and Grammy came over. and then some other people are coming over later. with 4 kids. that'd add up to 6 kids. screw that. ha.
well i have go to go.
blahh.
seee yaa.

It's only Tuesday. Uckkk. Yesterday..Boring as hell. It was a suckish dayy. Everything got worked out though<3 thank goodness. communication. this world needs people to communicate better. haha. im not very good at communicating, im not gonna lie:-D ooo Skylar sent me a lettter!! i never get letters anymore. I felt so special. i gotta write him back.
Todayyy, back to normal. i didn't feel well today. mi madre got me a frappe this morning. i didnt eat until like 4:30. went downtown to meet up with Ben and Chelsea. I got my favorite sandwich. nom nom. im hopefully going to be getting my boots tomorrow. oh, tomorrow is Chelsea's birthday. I am going to Erica's tomorrow. Diego is getting his hair cut.
I got to see baby Elizabeth today, I wanted to keep her! haha. she's adorable.
All and all it was a good day.
except i have received some sad news....
We might have to get rid of Tubby. i will cry.
no.
i shall not let that happpen. he's happy here.
he doesnt wanna leave.
that's all.

-Lex

Well this weekend sort of kind of sucked monkey tits.
i dont really feel like talking about it.
ill just tell about the pictures;
Haha well the one with the dude laying down is my old principle, he got fired. But that picture was in last years yearbook. haha. makes me laugh.
That gorgeous scenery is in Kenya. Dwayne sent me some pictures. I am going to be going there. Might move there. He is going to come and visit Michigan too!! that'll be cool.
That nipple picture makes me laugh sooo hard. I posted it on Sarah's wall and it got like 4 likes. It's hilarious. It was on Pedo Bear's fb.
well, that's all I have to say.
nothing good.
xxx

Ohh thank goodness it's Friday. It has been a quick week. Yesterday nothing special happened..
Today; Patrick added me back on facebook. guess he cant live without me. i kept up my word when i said that i wouldnt talk to him he had to talk to me.
memories have been brought up from last spring..... :-/
im not going to detail on here.
but damn.
jerk.
got picked up early from school today..
took a nap when i got home.
so much on my mind.
ughhh. im not giving in though.
ohh i got hit on hardcore today on fb by this guy with a kid. like wtf?
he was askin if i had a man and that i was sexy and all this stuff.
Sarah and I actually had a really good convo today, for the first time in awhile.
oh, the number im holding up.. im against bullying

http://www.standtogether.tv/

and then the other picture is from when we were singing to old people. awee. :-]
i will be posting pictures of the dance from a month or so ago..
when miss smith sends them to me..
tomorrow, family is gonna be over all day and then sunday i think i gotta go to babysit Chase..blahh
that's all.
back to bickering with Patrick:-/
ttyl